Don't Fear the Reaper
by Slayer6
Summary: AU Crossover Mixture of my prior NG:Goddess and Dead Like Me. The story of how George Lass met a Goddess. WARNING! LANGUAGE! if you haven't seen Dead Like me.....boy you're in for it
1. Prologue

I don't own Dead Like me, nor Ah My Goddess, nor Neon Genesis Evangelion.

The Prologue is in fact, the opening from the very First Episode of Dead Like Me, with minor variations.

This fic is a crossover with my NG:G series (the beast that cannot be reaped!)

Prologue

Once upon a time….

Or more specifically at the dawn of time, god (lower case g) was getting busy with creation.

He gave toad a clay jar and said "Be careful with this. It's got death inside."

Pleased as punch and oblivious to the fact he was about to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, Toad promised to guard the jar.

Then one day, Toad met Frog.

"Let me hold the Jar of Death or whatever you call it." Frog begged.

Toad said "No."

But Frog was determined. And after much whining, Toad finally gave in.

"You can hold it, but only for a second." He said.

In his excitement, Frog began to hop around, and juggle the Death Jar from one foot to the other.

Frog……..was an asshole.

"STOP!" Toad cried out.

But it was too late. Frog had dropped the jar and it had shattered on the ground. When it broke, Death got out. And ever since, all living things must die.

Makes you wonder how different the world would be if Frogs had stuck to hawking beer.

So there you have it, the mystery of Death finally revealed.

But uh…..should you run into a Goddess…..you never heard the story from me.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Georgia Lass.

Friends call me George, but I'm not looking to be friends with you.

Why?

Because by the time we meet, you'll be dead.

Let me reintroduce myself.

My name is George Lass, Grim Reaper. External Influence Division.

I reap the souls of the newly departed, and allow them to go on their way to where ever the hell souls go. Eventually, when I reach my 'magic' number of souls, I get to go too.

You see, I'm dead.

Or am I undead? I was never quite sure on this. Guess I'll stick to what I already said.

I'm dead.

Wasn't my fault. I didn't OD. I didn't crash my car. I looked both ways before crossing the street.

So how did I die?

Basically, the Universe pulled out its giant 'Fuck-with-me' gun, and pulled the trigger.

I have the dubious distinction of dying from the MIR Space Station's toilet seat.

Don't laugh. It's not very funny to see in your last moments, a flaming zero-g toilet seat hurtling right at you.

Right after, I met Rube Sofer. He's the head of our little group of Reapers. Even as my body lay smoking in the crater, he was there calmly talking to me as I freaked out about being dead.

And then he decided to try and cheer me up.

The dick.

He took me to my autopsy!

How the hell does that cheer you up?

It was disturbing to say the least, but I couldn't decide what was worse:

Being dead, or that the first man to touch my naked body was the Coroner.

That's when I found out I wasn't going beyond…….

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George looked away from the morgue.

"This has been lovely and all," she said to Rube, "But don't you think it should be time we were going?"

"What?" Rube asked, "You got some place to be?"

"I don't know." George replied, looking confused. "Do I?"

"Well you got to stick around till your body's been laid to rest."

"I'm meat in a zip-lock!" George snapped, "How much more rest do I need?"

"That's not important. What is important is that you say a proper good bye to this life before you say hello to the next one."

More confusion.

"What do you mean 'The next one'?" George asked. "What? Am I being reincarnated or something?"

Rube walked from where he was standing and leaned down until he was looking right into George's eyes.

"Don't be an ass." He stated.

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I got to experience my funeral.

Enough said about that.

I really don't want to talk about it.

Later, Rube and I were sitting outside my, former, house.

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"So what's next?" George asked. "Onward and upward?"

"Onward." Rube replied, "Not upward. No pearly gates for you. No choirs of Angels either."

"You dick! You're sending me to Hell?"

"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that interesting." Rube replied, "You little dead girl are going to be a Grim Reaper."

George blinked.

"Huh?"

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You ever wonder how many people die each day?

Don't worry, neither did I. Until I was dead.

Basically, it is the responsibility of the Reapers to 'reap' the soul either just before, or upon death. We then guide that person to the beyond, or at least to the point where they travel on without us.

Ideally, we want to be at a person's death before they die. They look much better post death. Otherwise they carry the nasty scars and injuries that killed them throughout eternity, or at least that's what I was told later. The way it works is Rube gets a note, which has a list of names and times. He then writes these names and times onto a Post-it note, and hands them out to us (meaning his team of Reapers) as our 'appointments' of the day.

Yes. Death comes by Post-it note.

Sick isn't it?

Gets worse.

My Division of Grim Reaperness is the External Influences.

What does that mean?

Well first, it means I don't get to deal with the leading causes of death.

That's too easy and, most of the time, too clean.

I get the nasty stuff.

External Influences include:

Murder. Suicide. Accidents. Etc.

What's Etc?

My first day I saw an Etc.

She died by a falling piano.

I'm serious.

Now just because we're Reapers doesn't mean that we are the ones that do the actual…….well we aren't the ones that get our rocks off dropping pianos on people.

Those are the Gravelings.

Little demony like things, almost like evil Oompa Loompas. They are the ones that kill people. But it's not like they are evil. They just have a job to do.

Fate says this person is destined to die on this day, and the Gravelings make sure it happens.

Ah Fate.

I'll get back to them in a bit.

I never left the city I died in.

This raised a question. What if I ran into my family?

Mason explained it to me.

Who's Mason? He's this English Reaper who, when alive, got really high one night and decided to drill for his brains…….with an electric drill.

He died of course. But I don't think he found what he was drilling for. I don't think it existed to begin with.

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George and Mason were walking down the sidewalk along a busy street. He then noticed something ahead of them in a shop window.

"Hey." He called out, "Look."

George looked over to see a TV store with a video camera looking out into the street. Coincidently, at Mason and George.

"This is what we look like to the living." Mason stated.

George stared at the image on the screen before her. She'd been told many times by her mother how pretty she was, not that she'd cared. But the image before her…….

"Holy shit." George said.

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It was freaking me out.

I mean REALLY freaking me out.

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"Who decides what we look like?" George asked, staring at the image before her.

"I don't know." Mason replied, studying his image, "Maybe this is what our inner child looks like when it grows up."

"If that were the case, it looks like my inner child's road to adulthood was paved with crack cocaine, ten-dollar blowjobs, and maybe even a trick baby or two." She looked at Mason. "You think she's pretty?"

"Umm." Mason replied, "Not as pretty as you."

George looked back at the image on the TV.

"Whatever."

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Like I said, I never really cared about my looks….but still……

Besides Rube and Mason, there's Roxy Harvey and Daisy Adair.

When I met Roxy, she was a meter maid. She got fed up with it and became a cop.

I feel bad for the criminals. Roxy can beat anyone's ass.

From what I was told, it was Roxy who invented leg warmers. Somehow she died by them too. I think she's a bit touchy about that, so never mention it.

Daisy…. Sweet wonderful Daisy.

She is…was…. an actress. Apparently she was connected to several famous actors in her day….but not in the way you think. Let's just say that she knew them intimately and leave it at that. She died on the set of _Gone with the Wind_ during the fire scene. At least the movie got an Oscar. Right?

There was one other Reaper of note. She was my friend, my first real post death friend, but she followed this guy onward and vanished. I've thought about asking where she went, but I've chickened out repeatedly.

Now let's get back to Fate.

According to mythology, Fate are these three chicks that control the destinies of all of us. It's up to them how long we live and when it was time for us to die. In reality, they don't do that anymore. In fact, after hearing what happened to me, they cried……well….three of them did. The fourth kinda laughed her head off.

The bitch…..

Wait, I said there were three fates right? So how did a fourth get in there? Well remember, I said according to mythology there were three. In reality, there was a fourth. She was born in 2001.

I'm really screwing with your head now aren't I?

Don't worry, I had issues with it too. But I got an explanation right from the source. But before I go there, I have to give you a bit of background on how I met her.

The year was 2040.

I had now been a reaper for 37 years. Rube and Daisy were still around, though they had now passed the 100 year mark since their death. We all knew it would only be a matter of time before they finally reached their quota and left, but until then, here they were. I was actually kinda glad Daisy was still around. She had become an older sister to me by this point.

Unfortunately for all of us, Mason was still with us.

Maybe Roxy could shoot him again. That was a hoot.

The day started off bad.

Mason decided to throw up in the living room of the house we were squatting in. (I'd like to note that even though we do reap the souls of the dead, we don't get PAID for it.)

It's always wonderful to see chunky half digested bits of whatever splattered across the couch first thing in the morning, don't you agree?

Well Daisy and I don't.

I drove us to the Der Wafflehous. I still can't believe this place has been here for almost forty years, until I walk inside, and then yes, I can believe. The interior, well, quite simply put, it's dated. Forty years to be exact.

Rube likes it, but then he also likes to listen to the radio.

I suppose one day I'll be laughed at for liking to watch TV, probably when everything is a hologram or something like that.

Fuck. I went off track. Sorry.

So the three of us get to Der Wafflehous and go inside. Rube and Roxy are already there. Daisy and I were still pissed off about the puke, and had been letting Mason know it the entire ride over.

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"I still don't see why you're so bloody pissed off." Mason said as he sat down.

"You threw up in the living room." Daisy replied.

"So?"

"It was on the couch!" George said. "You know how nasty that is!?"

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Very fucking nasty.

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"It's not like I haven't thrown up before!" Mason replied.

"Yeah but this wasn't your normal puke." George said, as she sat down next to Daisy in the booth. "What the hell did you eat last night?"

Mason sighed, "It was my Reap, alright? He was some guy who lived off the bloody land. Only way I could get close to him was to share a rabbit with him."

"Those chunks were a fucking rabbit?" George asked.

"I imagine so." Mason pulled something out of his pocket. "I got the foot if you want it."

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You know, there are times when Mason can say the sweetest things, and I wonder why I think he's a jackass.

Then I remember things like this and I know why.

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"Why the hell do you have a dead animal foot with you!?" Roxy said.

"It's lucky!" Mason replied.

"Not for the rabbit." George muttered.

"Are you all done?" Rube asked.

"I am." Mason said, putting the foot back into his pocket. "What do you have for me today? A Celeb Reap?"

"If there is one, Rube will give it to George." Roxy said, "He's got a sweet spot for her."

"Hey!" George shouted, "I don't ask for the damn things!"

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Yeah! What I said! Not my fault Rube calls me Pumpkin.

Don't you get any ideas on calling me that.

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Rube let out a sigh as his people argued amongst themselves.

"Hey!" Rube finally shouted, "Knock it off."

The other Reapers went quiet.

"Today's different." Rube began, "It's audit day."

Roxy, Mason, and Daisy all groaned. George looked at them confused.

"Audit day?" George asked, "We get audited?"

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Great, there's an IRS for the dead?

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"Every fifty years or so," Rube explained, "The higher ups send someone to make sure we're doing things right."

Mason turned and looked at George.

"They have huge files on us that have everything we've done in there."

George's eyes went wide. "What do you mean 'everything'?"

"He means everything." Roxy said, "Mason here got chewed out last time by the auditor because he went and got high before he went on a Reap."

"I needed a little pick me up!" Mason protested, "I can only handle so much! The bugger went and got squished by a train."

"Depressing." George muttered, "So anything we've done is under the microscope."

"That sums it up Pumpkin." Rube said.

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Ugh…….I'd rather they forget a few things……

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"Great." George muttered.

"So when is this over rated Reaper coming?" Mason asked.

"Soon." Rube replied He threw a glance over his shoulder.

"Good." Mason said, "The sooner the fucking auditor gets through the sooner we can relax."

"You plan on getting high again." Roxy said.

"Why the fuck not?" Mason asked, "That basterd up there lets us do his dirty work, then sends someone to tell us what we're doing wrong!"

Rube glanced over his shoulder again.

George frowned. What was he looking for?

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OH!! I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!!

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"Uh Mason….." Rube began.

"I mean aren't you sick of it?" Mason asked, "We've been Reaping for over sixty years!" He glanced at George. "Well forty for you. But we still don't get paid!"

"Get a job!" Roxy growled, "The rest of us have."

Mason snickered, "Right. Like I'm going to get stuck in a dead end job. I think if we do his dirty work, the big basterd could at least pay us for it."

"Mason……." Rube said again. He was still tossing glances over his shoulder.

"No Rube! Seriously! George feels the same way! Don't you George?"

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Mason always has to bring me into it when he's sticking his foot in his mouth.

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"Leave me out of this." George muttered.

"Oh I see. Now you're siding with 'Daddy' over there. Come on! Even you said the big basterd upstairs should……"

Mason was cut off as lightning struck a power pole outside the restaurant. The lights flickered inside the building, before returning to normal.

"I think someone is rather annoyed with you Mason." Daisy said.

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I'll take angry wrathful God for five hundred Alex.

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"Oh you have no idea." A voice said from beside us. We all turned to see a brown haired woman standing before our table. She looked to be slightly Asian, in her twenties or so. She also had odd blue markings on both of her cheeks under her eyes, as well as another on her forehead. Rube sighed before turning to his people.

"This is Sayoko, the auditor." Rube said.

"Oh I think I ought to give you my complete title." Sayoko said, glaring at Mason. She held her hand up, empty. A quick flick of the wrist, and several small cards appeared in her grip. She handed them out to those seated, who quickly read the print on the card. Mason gripped the card tightly as he read his. George was the first one to look up.

"Goddess?" she asked, "Why do you have the title of Goddess?" George then turned to Rube. "You didn't tell me we could have titles! I could be Empress George!"

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A girl can dream can't she?

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"We don't have titles." Rube said. He glanced at Sayoko. "You were never a Reaper were you?"

Sayoko shook her head.

"I am Sayoko Morisato, Goddess First Class, Type Two, Unlimited." She said, "My domain is the present."

"Hah!" Mason shouted, "You can't be a Goddess! There's no such thing as….."

Sayoko's eyes flared white. In a flash, Mason vanished, causing everyone at the table to jump.

"Not that I mind the silence." Roxy said, "But where did he go?"

"Oh," Sayoko said, "He's probably at around 40,000 feet and falling."

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I like her. I really do.

You have no idea how many times I've wanted to toss Mason out of my car.

At high speed.

Head first.

Into a wall.

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Daisy's eyes went wide.

"You really are a Goddess?"

"Yep." Sayoko replied, "Born and raised." She glanced at her watch. "That should be enough." Her eyes flashed again, and Mason reappeared in the booth, screaming.

"You can shut up now." Roxy said.

Mason looked at Sayoko wide eyed.

"You…you…you……"

"Now I expect you're done calling my grandfather a 'basterd'," Sayoko said with a slight glare. "Let's get this audit done."

"Yippee." George muttered.

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Yes, let's get our wonderful audit done after one of the members of our group has just insulted you and the creator of the universe.

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Sayoko started to pull a file out of her bag when a strange smell reached her nose.

"What is that?" she asked as she crinkled her nose in disgust.

The others sniffed around. Then Roxy leaned over and sniffed Mason.

"Jesus Christ!" She shouted, "What the fuck did you do?"

"I was falling from the bloody sky without a bloody parachute!" Mason shouted.

"You wet yourself?" George asked, trying to move further from Mason. Daisy also scooted further from him.

"YES!" Mason shouted, "I pissed myself are you happy?"

Sayoko just shook her head as she flipped open a briefcase and removed a file.

"Roxy Harvey."

Roxy raised her hand. Sayoko was quiet for a moment, then looked up over the file.

"You caused someone to miss their appointment?" she asked.

Roxy gulped and sunk in her chair slightly. Rube turned and looked at Roxy.

"When did you do that?" he asked.

"Just a bit after George joined up." Roxy replied.

"Not like I had a choice in joining up." George muttered.

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Damn 'Fuck-with-me' gun.

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"Right." Sayoko paged through the file, then closed it. Placing Roxy's file back in the brief case, she then pulled out a huge thick file.

"Mason."

"THAT'S MY BLOODY FILE!!??!" Mason shouted.

"Damn." George said, "It's like a foot thick!"

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I do believe the bible and dictionary combined are thinner then Mason's file.

Sad thing is the idiot has only added to that file.

I think they gave up and dedicated a filing cabinet just to him.

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Sayoko opened it and read through a few pages. Her eyes snapped up several times, glancing Mason over.

"Did you really steal the underwear off a corpse?!?!"

George, Daisy and Roxy all stared at Mason in shock.

"It's not like they were going to use it." Mason stated.

"Ewwww." The three female reapers muttered.

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Sure we squat in Dead People's homes. Sure we eat their food (if that isn't what killed them). Sure we'll take their money (if they leave it laying around).

But their underwear?

Nasty.

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"Ok they weren't going to use it," Sayoko said, still reading, "but what were you going to do with ladies underwear?"

"I uh……" Mason stuttered, getting glares from the women.

"Daisy," George said, "We are so counting our panties when we get back."

"I agree."

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They were all there by the way.

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Sayoko went through a few more sheets, then closed the file.

"That is some of the most disgusting, despicable, perverted….……" Sayoko shivered all over, "I'm glad I only have to put up with you for today."

"Lucky you." George muttered, "We get him for our entire afterlife."

Sayoko went through Daisy's file.

Her eyes widened at a few pages, and she glanced at Daisy and Mason curiously, but overall she didn't say much.

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She knew about Ray.

It was all there in black and white.

Who's Ray?

He was this asshole that dated Daisy for a bit. He wasn't a pleasant man, and Mason accidentally killed him. I never did get the complete story from them. But here's the important thing.

Ray died without a post-it.

He wasn't supposed to die.

Thus, he came back to life as a Graveling.

A severally pissed off one.

He caused a lot of problems.

Then I reaped the little basterd.

Sayoko knew all about Ray.

Like I said, it was there in the file.

She was being nice.

Very nice.

She never mentioned it.

Did I mention I liked her?

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Sayoko then went though Rube's file. Then she pulled out the last file.

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Drum roll please!

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"Georgia Lass."

"George." George said, "I go by George."

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Somehow it feels really wrong to be correcting a Goddess.

Fortunately, Sayoko is a New Age Goddess, and didn't mind.

As to the swearing…….Ah fuck it, she's said worse things.

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"George, right." Sayoko read over the file, muttering a few 'un huhs', 'ohs', and 'mmhmms'. She then looked up at George. "Been busy haven't you?"

"Yeah well…….." George muttered.

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Yes, my file listed everything.

Everything.

All my fuck-ups from my first and second years. As well as a few from my fourth, fifth, sixth….uh…you get the idea.

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Sayoko looked at Rube. "Part of the Audit includes going on a pick-up."

"You mean she's gonna come along for a Reap?" Mason asked.

"Not with you." Sayoko growled.

"Who did you have in mind?" Rube asked.

Sayoko pointed at George.

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Aww damn, not the 'Fuck-with-me' gun again.

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"Me?" George asked, surprised, "Why me?"

"You're about the only one here even close to my age. Anyway…….." Sayoko looked back at Rube.

Rube pulled out his day planner and opened it up, revealing several post-it notes. Sayoko's mouth dropped.

"You…..they….." she stuttered, "You give out death on POST-IT NOTES?!?!?"

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I hear you.

Oh boy do I hear you.

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Rube shrugged, "They're hard to lose."

"Right….." Sayoko sighed, then looked back up at George. "Well come on. Show me how you do it."

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It's all in the wrist really……..

Nah just kidding.

So Sayoko and I went out into the world to reap a soul.

But I'll share that story with you later.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So now I find myself walking down the streets of Seattle alongside a Goddess of Heaven.

THE Heaven.

All the questions that come to mind. All the things you want to know.

What to ask first?

The meaning of the universe?

Why do we exsist?

What lays in the beyond?

Nope.

Hey! This is me we're talking about!

What do you think I asked?

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"Why did you choose me?"

"I told you." Sayoko replied as she and George walked down the street. "You're the closest to my age."

George frowned. "But you're a Goddess."

"Yeah, so?"

"Goddesses are like thousands of years old."

"I'm only forty." Sayoko said with a chuckle, "I was born a year or so after second impact. My Mom is a Goddess, Dad was a mortal."

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OK! Quick history review.

In the year 2000, about half the worlds population croaks when a metorite hit Antartica. Or at least that is what we were told. That continenet was obliterated, and the seas rose, flooding out most low-lying areas. That was Second Impact.

Then Tokyo got nuked and a few wars broke out.

The UN did eventually restore order.

Now I said that the story was a meterorite hit Antartica. Well, was eventually revealed to be a complete lie.

In actuallity, scientists discovered this huge white being in the ice. After a few tests, they called it an Angel, and then named it Adam. Apparently some ancient scrolls fortold this or something……..it's all acedemic and annoying.

Short story, the being got tired of the scientists poking it and poked back, wiping out Antartica and all the scientists.

There was only one survivor.

Well two if you count Adam.

This leads to the creation of the Evangelions, four hundred foot tall bio-robots to defend the Earth from these Angels. The Evas are piloted by fourteen year olds.

Why?

Who the fuck knows?

And in true Godzilla style, the Angels all attack Tokyo-3.

Go figure.

But that's a different story.

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George blinked. "Wow."

"Gets better," Sayoko added, "I was the fifth child, the pilot of Eva 4."

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The girl has it all doesn't she?

Goddesshood……..beauty……..eternal youth……..

And a four hundred foot tall Mecha.

Damn I'm jealous.

I want a four hundred foot tall Mecha.

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George's eyes went wide.

"An Eva pilot? Holy shit! I..…uhh…..I mean….."

Sayoko waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. I've heard worse."

"But you're a goddess," George said, "It just doesn't seem right to be swearing around you."

"Like I said, I've heard worse. Think of me as a new age Goddess."

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Told you she was new age.

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"Ok."

George and Sayoko walked in silence. Then the Reaper looked up.

"What's it like?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"Heaven." George said, "What's it like?"

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Ahh. One of the big questions is finally spoken.

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"Green," Sayoko said after a moment, "Lots and lots of green. Fields, forests, it's very lush with plant life. In the middle is the main city. It was divided up between the religions, but everyone mixes with everyone else now. In the center of the city is the main complex where most of the major offices and such are located. Also there is the building that houses the world computer."

George blinked. "A computer? The world is run by a computer?"

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Right now, some geek is reading this and wondering how fast the Processor is, how much memory it has, and how big of a hard drive do you need to run the universe..

And just to spite the geek, I won't tell you.

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"Yes."

"Damn." George muttered, "Go Bill Gates."

Sayoko narrowed her eyes.

"We do NOT use windows."

"Oh." George frowned, "Because that would explain why I got killed by that toilet seat."

Sayoko shook her head. "I didn't think you'd want to talk about it."

"Hey it was a lousy day." George replied, "I got a job that sucked filing, and then I got killed by the MIR toilet seat. Course then I got stuck with this job."

"We all have to do things we hate sometimes." Sayoko replied, "I was supposed to drive a married couple apart once."

"Supposed to?" George asked, "Why?"

"The guy married an alien."

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When she told me this, a few images came to mind.

The first was a guy, waving from his wedding photo next to THE Alien.

This ended with the thought of the first night together when she laid her eggs in his chest, and a few hours later, the offspring burst from his chest in a fountain of gore………..

Sadly, Sigourney Weaver didn't make a cameo in this vison.

The other image that came to mind was a female E.T.

Then I remembered that he never wore clothes……and well……..ick.

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"O.K." George muttered, "We have Goddesses AND aliens."

"You haven't heard the half of it."

"Tell me. We've got plenty of time till the Reap."

"Alright then. We have Demons too."

George stopped dead in her tracks.

"Demons?" she repeated, "You mean like Devils and imps with pitch forks, horns and red pointy tails?"

"Ah…." Sayoko replied, "No. No horns, no pitch forks, and no pointy tails."

"You mean they look like you and me?"

"Well…….yes. But they have red markings instead of blue."

George frowned.

"That sounds so……boring."

"Boring?" Sayoko gave George a curious look.

"I mean you don't have halos or the white robes like the Angels. And the Devils don't look like devils." George sighed, "Everything doesn't sound like it should! I mean, a computer runs the world?"

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Yeah, I was probabaly getting kinda whiny and all.

But dammit!

I wanted my Devil's with pitchforks!

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Sayoko stared at George a moment.

"The Demons have fangs." She stated bluntly.

George's face lit up.

"They do?"

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Ok, scratch what I said about the pitchforks.

Fangs will do.

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"So here's how it works." George began. She and Sayoko were now standing at a street corner. People were hurrying past them, either on their way to work, shopping, or doing who knew what.

"The Post-It gives as a last name and a first intial. We get a time and location for the appointment." George looked around. "Our job is to find the person, hopefully before their death."

"Why before?" Sayoko asked.

"Because then they feel no pain and look as they did before they died." George then cringed. "One of my first reaps I didn't make the appointment. In fact, I hid. Rube and Roxy found me and hualed me down to the city morgue. There they laid out all the facts, and then I reaped the guy. He got up with the autopsy cuts in place."

Sayoko's eyes widened.

"He saw the entire thing? His own autopsy? While inside?"

"Yeah."

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Not one of my better days.

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Sayoko shivered. "That's like something out of the Twilight Zone."

"I don't know if he recovered mentally." George whispered, "But I didn't miss any appointments after."

"Ok." The Goddess looked around. People continued to walk past her, mildly annoyed she'd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "We're at the spot. Where is he?"

"We still have time." George replied, looking at the Post-It. "C. Moran at 11:21am. We have eight minutes."

Sayoko turned about looking around. George watched her for a moment, then grabbed her arm.

"Will you quit spinning." She growled, "You look very odd doing that."

"Well how are we supposed to find the person if we don't look!" Sayoko growled back.

"We'll know." Geroge replied, looking at her watch. "six minutes."

Sayoko looked around again. A sewer cleaning tank truck went by, slowing down as it aproached the red light. Other cars began to line up behind it.

"How do you think they'll go?" she asked.

"Dunno." George said, still staring at her watch. "Pianos, garbage trucks, train crashes, a milk dud, there are lots of ways to go."

"How about a cement truck?"

George looked up to see a cement truck speeding down the street towards a red light.

"That would do it." George looked down at her watch. "But we have four minutes still."

CRASH!!!!

George and Sayoko jumped as the cement truck plowed into the stopped vehilces. People screamed as cars were actually tossed into the air, some landing on other vehicles.

"Three minutes." George said.

Sayoko stared at George.

"It's not the crash?"

"It isn't always that obvious." George replied. "Two minutes."

"SON OF A BITCH!!"

Sayoko turned to see a guy climbing out of his car which had ended up on the overturned sewer cleaning tank truck.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM MAN?!?!" the man shouted at the cement truck driver.

Sayoko stared at the man a moment, then saw an odd grey creature opening the hatch to the tank truck.

"What is that?" Sayoko hissed.

"Graveling." George said softly. "One minute."

"Why I outgha….AHH!!" The man started across the tank truck's side, only to slip and fall into open hatch. There was a loud splash, followed by the hatch slamming closed. The graveling flipped the lock, then vanished.

The hatch shook violently as the man tried to get out.

"Ten……nine" George began to count, her eyes flicking between her watch and the toliet. "…….eight…..seven……six…….five…….four…..three…..two…….one."

The hatch stopped shaking and all was quiet.

Sayoko stared wide eyed at the tank.

"Is he….?"

She asked.

"Yep." George said with a sigh as she pulled out a latex glove. "He is."

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That's always the first question everyone asks.

'Is he dead?'

Even if the head is severed completely, heart laying on the ground, giant pool of blood around the body……… they always ask.

'Is he dead?'

And as a Goddess, Sayoko probably should have known better then to ask that.

But then again, she is part human as well.

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Sayoko turned her head as she heard the snap of the glove on George's wrist.

"What's with the glove?"

George pointed at the tank. "I still have to reap his soul."

"You're going to touch him?!?!" Sayoko said, "After he's been in ….that?!?!"

"What's it going to do to me?" George asked, "I'm already dead!"

"Well why do you have the glove then?!?!"

"Because blue toliet chemicals on your hand is hard to explain at work." George snapped back as she walked over to the tank truck. Other people were already prying the hatch open. George climbed up and joined them.

"Is he dead?" a woman called up.

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Is there an echo in here?"

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George stuck her gloved hand against the dead man's neck.

"No pulse." She called out. She then removed her hand, dragging her fingers along the neck slightly.

When she rejoined Sayoko, she was followed by the completely blue soul of the man.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You died." George replied as she pulled the latex glove off and tossed it into a trash can.

The man turned and looked back as his body was pulled from the tank truck.

"I'm dead?"

"Yep." George replied, "Come on Smurf boy."

The man nodded his head slightly as he followed George. Sayoko remained a moment, staring at the retreating form of the Reaper and the soul, then back at the crash scene. She then turned and ran after George.

Minutes later, they turned down an alley, where the soul of the dead man saw his path towards paradise. George watched in silence untill the light had vanished. Then she turned to Sayoko.

"And that is how we do a reap."

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She took it pretty well.

Kinda……

Ah hell…she was still in shock.

So we went to a bar.

Oddly enough, it was the same bar where Betty……..

……

The last and only bar I went to Betty with.

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George watched in amazment as Sayoko downed her third jagerbomb. The goddess set the glass back down on the bar and stared at it a moment. She then looked at the Reaper.

"How can you do it?" she asked, sounding still very sober.

"How can you take three jagerbombs?" George replied, "I'm tipsy after one."

"New Age Goddess." Sayoko replied, "Plus the Norse are notorious for consuming large amounts of alcohol."

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Remind me to tell you about the time Thor threw a kegger.

That man can throw one Hell of a party!

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"And you didn't answer my question." Sayoko pointed out.

George thought a moment.

"When I first became a Reaper, I didn't want to do it." She said softly. "That's probably where I got in the most trouble. I missed an appointment. Then got someone to miss their death. But that cuased a whole lot more problems." George swirled her drink a moment. "My first reap was a kid. Not even out of grade school." George turned towards Sayoko. "Maybe I should be asking you: Why? Why did she have to die so young? What's the whole point of this?"

Sayoko stared at her empty glass.

"My mother was asked the same question once." She began. "My mortal grandparents had just died in Second Impact, and my Aunt wanted to know why." Sayoko turned and looked at George. "She said that we are all part of the great tapestry that is the universe. That we are the threads being weaved into it. And that those threads eventually do end, but new ones take their place."

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And somewhere in this is me being hit by the seat of a zero-g toilet.

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Sayoko looked up and looked towards the top of the bar. "Of all the gifts that Kami-sama has given, the gift of life is the greatest and the most fragile."

George nodded slightly. Then looked over at the bartender.

"Gimmie another! Make it a double!"

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What can I say?

I wanted the answers to the universe and I got the 'for dummies' version.

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"But even though your Grandparent's died," George spoke up after she got her drink. "You still got to see them in Heaven. Not many other people get that."

"True." Sayoko answered, "Heaven is just a mirror away for me. But everyone does get reunited in the end." The Goddess' face clouded slightly. "Most do at least."

George frowned. "What do you mean most? I suppose if someone is sent to Hell….."

"Well there is that." Sayoko admitted, "But eventually once they're repentant and paid their due, they are forgiven and gain entrance into the Heavens."

"So who are…."

Sayoko held up her hand. "There are about a dozen or so people I know of that have never been seen since their death." She grabbed her newly refilled drink. "Two I know of personally." She took a sip and continued to speak, staring blankly over the bar.

"One was the mother of a friend of mine." The Goddess said, "Her father, a Demon, destroyed her mother's soul completely."

George blinked in surprise.

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Note to self: DO NOT LOSE ANYONE'S SOUL!!!!!

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"And the other?" George asked.

The Goddess' face was unreadable.

"He…..he was…….he was…." Sayoko seemed to be fighting off tears. "He was a close friend."

"How close?" George asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sayoko turned her head slightly towards the reaper.

"Very close." The Goddess stated.

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Well that ruined the whole purity image I had of Goddesses.

Then again, she did say she was New Age…….

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"Oh." George replied.

Sayoko waved her hand. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to put a downer on our evening."

"Don't be." The Reaper said, "Someone told me once that talking about it helps."

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Guess those counseling sessions Mom suckered me into did sink in.

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George then frowned a moment.

"How do you get by?" she asked.

Sayoko looked at George curiously.

"What do you mean?"

George waved her hand around her.

"Watching the world change while you remain the same." She answered. "I mean, Rube and Daisy have been around over one hundred years now. If they had kids, they've long since out lived them!"

"I'm only 39." Sayoko muttered.

"But still!" George said, "You're immortal! How can you make friends, knowing that you'll watch them age and then…..you know……"

Sayoko stared at her glass as she swirled it around.

"A friend of my Mothers put it best." She finally said, "'The people we Goddess' love live forever in our hearts.'" She looked to George, "Thus we are never truly without them. They still exist." She tapped her chest. "Here."

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I always thought that was just indigestion.

We stayed at the bar a bit longer then she left via mirror.

Yeah, she travels through mirrors……

Bet that makes you stop a moment when you're in the bathroom huh?

We carried on as normal the next couple of days. Then on the third day since the audit, Rube showed up with a several envelopes, one for each of us.

Turns out that even though Sayoko only went around with me, the others were being watched as well. Mason freaked out and started looking around for 'Big Brother'.

Roxy shot him again to shut him up.

What?

Oh? My audit?

I received a favorable audit. Even had a phone number with a note that said if I ever needed anything, to call.

Isn't it great to have friends in high places?

I wouldn't even have to worry about long distance charges!

Still… I ran into her again sooner then I thought.


End file.
